Curiosity and those awkward questions: "what's throwing on with his eyes" and"are you pregnant"

Our apartment complex has about 10,000 people in it. That means on a given day when I take our kids outside to play (otherwise they go stir crazy in our apartment) we run into some people we always see and other people for the first time.  Yesterday a nine year old boy looked at me and then made very exaggerated faces, noises and finally came up to me to see if I was actually a westerner and told me it was the first time he's ever seen one. How do I respond to that? I told him next time the noises aren't needed:) 

People want to say hi. They want to practice their English. They want to hear my Chinese. They are curious.  I come home with stories..."wow, the family with twin boys who are almost 3 years old spend $350 each month (without a discount it would be $500 USD) on formula. They are such great customers they were given two scooters."  I was shocked and told her once a child is one, formula isn't even needed. I asked her why she doesn't just give her kids cows milk or even yoghurt. People in these parts are very wary of local milk powder and I guess even regular milk. This is the home of the previous milk scandal. But this is also a culture that relies a lot on formula and even doctors will recommend it from the get go. So she reminded me of this and talked about how one day soon they will stop buying formula. I tell my DH those things. Locals probably also go home and tell their family what I say, "Can you believe she does this, or that she doesn't cook as many vegetables as us or says that..." 

A lot of people idealise other cultures or maybe they want to send their kids to the UK or USA to study. They think maybe there is something different about us and want to figure out what that is (and then hopefully also the English side of things will rub off on them too.) I have lots of faults and weaknesses but I'm also happy to share my life, cooking recipes, were my hope comes from, different perspectives, some practical ways we teach kids values, etc.

So there is a lot of curiosity.

On a normal day probably 1/5 people say hi to me like this, "What's the matter with your son's eyes?" Probably about 70% of people ask at some point in a conversation why he wears glasses. And some (usually grown up woman) also like to ask (assertively) -"why do you need glasses/what's the matter with your eyes" directly to my little man. He's four.

He had an astigmatism, 散光. It is being corrected with glasses.  I'm thankful that at three years old he didn't pass a routine eye exam. In thankful that finally at four we got him properly tested. I'm thankful that words, letters and faces are now crisp with glasses. And I'm thankful for doctors and friends who have talked me through eye questions and encouraged me to just get him tested. 

He is unaware that something is "the matter" with his eyes. He understands that it's a wonderful thing to have glasses so that he can have everything in focus.  We don't dwell on the subject with him. 

Sometimes parents explain to me how I must have let him watch too much tv. I try to explain we have been told his need for glasses isn't related to watching screens. I explain about how my dad has had his vision corrected and how these things can run in the family. They ask if his eyes will get better when he's older. The internet suggests 8/10 people over here use glasses.  Maybe his perscription will change but maybe he will use glasses when he's older. It's not a bad thing.  I try to help them see just because they have heard it's bad to wear glasses that it's not. I try t give them a different spin on it.

I try to not get defensive. I try to smile and say that it's a blessing that he has glasses to help him see more clearly. I try not to tell them that I feel awkward and that I'm not too into their greeting and where maybe they hoped to start a conversation, I sort of feel attacked and may want to walk away from it. 

I asked a woman who's son wears glasses (and who started the conversation out the above way) if it's common for people to ask her these questions. She said that she's never been asked this by other people. But kindly suggested that maybe people just want to say hi to me and it's their way "in." Sigh. Somehow I wish small talk existed a bit more here.oo

Other people also approach me and we talk about eye drops/medicines and the inconvenient differences. Here people put in a saline, atropine, 阿托品 various times over three days (and then after 20 days clear vision returns) before they can have their children's vision tested. Outside of Asia doctors put eye drops in and then soon after do an eye test. Normal vision returns later that day. Inconvenient differences.

I'm learning how to not let awkward greetings close down conversations. I think I prefer people asking me about glasses rather than walking up to me for the first time and talking about MY MIDDLE SECTION, how far along I am, whether it will be a girl this time, etc. I AM NOT pregnant. My middle is not completely flat but it's just one of those things! 

                                 Thanks for stopping by and reading!

                                        Have a beautiful Sunday!