The "sitting month"

Often times when I'm with my Chinese friends or really anyone (I get asked by shopkeepers, etc) they want to know where we're going to have our baby, what I will do after the baby's born, etc.  They find it quite intriguing that I'm always running errands and walking around with William (WHILE pregnant). 

I guess it's different here because people here only have one child and a whole bunch of care-givers: grandma, aunts, uncles caring for the little person.  I think it's great and I see a lot of benefit in it.  But they don't understand how I do everything while taking care of my little man.  I try to explain that it's normal for people in other countries to have 2, 3 even sometimes 4 kids!  They can't begin to imagine having anymore more than 2 kids (most only have one)!

So then conversation always turns to, how long will you stay in bed for once your baby is born. 
I tell them that 3 days after our little one was born, we were out climbing a mountain (ok, I was really in the car while my family and DH were climbing with our little guy in a sling!)  Then I tell them that when the hospital releases me, I will be out and about (sort-of!!!).  They look at me strangely. Then the question I love, "will you take a bath / shower?"  I explain that when we had our little guy, after about an hour the doctors / midwife told me to get up and take a shower.  Their eyes widen in amazement and they all start shaking their heads.

Over here, it's a deep embedded superstition that Chinese woman should not take a shower or wash for 30 days after their baby is born.  For some people that means, literally no washing.  They don't wash their hair, hands, feet, body, etc.  They believe it will:

• weaken their immune system
• they will get aches, pains and arthritis later in life due to contact with water and chills. 
• Post-par tum time is a set time to restore their body's "weakness" and the ying / yang. 

This time is called the zuo yue zi” (坐月子) "sitting month."  Culture, tradition and family expect the mother to stay in bed (all day, meals and everything) for 30 days in her pajamas.  New mothers are not allowed to eat or drink anything cold (water, soda, milk, etc.), eat raw vegetables or fruit and no visitors are allowed.

They are allowed to eat "clear" food like soup and things that aren't too cold or too hot.  They dress warmly (uncomfortable without fans, open windows or air-conditioning) and are taken care of by their mother-in-law, and nurse that is hired to take care of the mother and baby, and by her husband.   

It's an important time for them to protect their bodies against the cold and restore the "weakness". 
I was reading online and it seems that their tradition also came from a history of wanting to avoid unsanitary conditions.  In the past, water could have been contaminated or had mosquitoes in it, so people thought it was more sanitary not to wash than to use that water to clean themselves. 

Most young people do not understand where the tradition came from, but they have been warned, threatened and understand the "potential risks" to get arthritis and weaken their immune system if they don't follow these rules.  There are actually very few woman that I've met who have deliberately gone against the tradition.  Some bend the rules and maybe shower after 3 weeks. But most follow it closely (especially when their a mother or mother-in-law enforcing the rules).  This isn't just a rural mind-set, many of these people have university degrees and some are married to doctors.  Chinese people are very traditional and this is one of those fundamental things. It's VERY important to expectant mothers.  Doctors, parents, and everyone will recommend them to follow these rules. 

I respect that they have this tradition and although much of it is based in superstition and I won't be following it, I don't want to make fun of their culture.  So I'm writing this knowing how "different" many of these things sound.  I know that it's not what Western doctors recommend.  But I'm not trying to get a "this is absurd-reaction" reaction out of you!  It's something that's unique between our cultures.  But it's also something fun to blog about:) 

So when I'm asked what I'm going to do...

I tell them that I will shower and that I won't have a "sitting month."  I let them shake their heads they usually do anyways when

• they lift my trousers and discover time after time that I don't wear long-underwear
• or when they see my little guy eating ice-cream when it's cold outside and coughing - I think he coughs deliberately sometimes!!
• and when I walk "fast" with my bump moving right along with me.

 Always interesting to hear about different cultures and traditions:)