Help, my son's a bully

Today I topped up my cell phone credit and then asked my little guy if he wanted to "go home or play with his friends."  He said he wanted to play with his friends.  I thought, ohh that's nice! 

I pulled him along (he sits on a little car of sorts) and we made our way to our apartment complex common area.  There are always lots of people outside.

As we passed by EACH of them, my son stuck his arm out in front of him with all five fingers sprawled apart and loudly said, "NO."  I try to cover over his "no's," tell him he can't "yell no at everyone" and that he has to be nice.  We got to our destination and a child happily came over to see us.  When my little guy saw the older man with the kid (remember that many grandpa's and grandma's take care of the kids over here) he cried and threw his arms over his car saying, "MY CAR, MY CAR."  

My interpretation: he didn't want the older gentleman to tease him and try to take the car away.  (I think he was more afraid at that moment that the man was going to take it than the kid!) For some reason, many people like to tease my little guy; they try to take away his toys, balls, etc. in order to get a reaction.  I'm really not sure what type of reaction they are looking for, perhaps, "dear old man, please feel free to take my care for a ride?"  Hmm, my son reacts with tears and screaming.  He doesn't get their game.  I don't either.  He will squat over his ball and yell at people who come near him.  I get him.  People try to take his things and he wants to protect those things and himself.


Unfortunately, strangers don't quite understand why he is violently telling them "NO, NO, NO" and crying while holding ALL (like Dora, Diego, Boots and all of the other friends) of his things.

I try to tell people to please NOT take his balls and that he doesn't like it when they take his toys.  And that he doesn't like to be touched.  Or picked up.  And that he won't share his food with them (them being adults).  But you see, I don't want to be completely unfriendly.  I mean, how would you react if your son tells everyone NO.

I was crossing the street while my little guy was saying NO to a Nǎinai (Chinese grandma).  All for no apparent reason.  She told me to stop, stop, stop.  I was crossing the street (with my son in tow!)  so of course I didn't.. there were cars!  She put her hand on my tummy and tried to talk to me about my due-date, where the baby will be born and kept asking what my little guy was saying to her.  Yikes.  Imagine being in the street with a kid yelling NO, NO, NO to a woman, dodging traffic and a woman with her hand on my bump.  I refused to translate his messages to her, changed the subject and told her the run-down on baby.:)

I try to give him time-outs, I make him say sorry to his friends when he pushes them, Diego (Dora's friend) and Dora, my husband and I have all given him talks about pushing, being nice, etc.  We were reading a book that says some kids need more space than others.  While I think that's totally true, and we try to give it to him, I'm not sure how to work that out when we're outside.  When you live in China with lots of people, personal space is a luxury.  And people are interested in us "big nosed" people.  They want to look at my son's toys.  They want to have fun with us.  They don't want to give us space.

Help.  My son's a bully.