Maybe my boys are just normal:)

For a long time (2 years), I've looked at my son and at other boys in China and decided that: he's just different. 

He would run faster, scream louder, move faster, throw tantrums more than any other little kids around him.  I googled it.  I read books about "spirited kids," I joined a special forum.  I talked to people.

Here's why:

Little kids in our city SIT with their parents.  They sit and don't move.  Really.  They don't have tantrums (when we were around).  They eat their food.  And no, I'm not talking about the minority, really, kids in China are just different.  Not a bad different, just different. 

Perhaps it comes from not always being stimulated to play, problem-solve and be independent when they're young.  Independence is frowned upon.  Culture is just different.  Not bad.  Different. 

• Kids over there co-sleep until they're about 8.  Parents sleep in separate rooms all that time while they co-sleep.  This is their normal. 
• They don't go to the toilet by themselves until about 7.
• They still have people helping them to eat until they're probably 6.  They didn't do "Baby-led weaning." :)  Their kids didn't make messes eating pasta.
• Kids over there don't have puzzles, toys, Mr. Potato Head shampoo (found that one today at Oxfam:) )  Education is their focus. 
• They work hard at school, work hard at home, work hard on the weekends and look ahead to the future.  Life is hard from a very young age.  For them life isn't about playing, but about getting ahead in the long-run. 
• Many young adults would be told what job to take, who to marry and where to live.  More and more young people are choosing for themselves, but I would still say that the majority listen to their parents and respect their decisions.  Respect for parents is essential in China.

For you that know culture over there, would you say that this is true or am I off?

It's just different.  Childhood isn't enjoyed, it's just a part of their life.

Many young Chinese have good memories of playing in the dirt, eating special meals as a family, celebrating weddings or a grandma's birthday.  But perhaps they don't remember ever being told that they were loved, or having a book read to them or doing a puzzle together with a parent.  They weren't listened to, there were no compromises and verbal affirmation was infrequent if non-existent.

Well back in the UK, I've realized that MAYBE my little man is just a normal two year old.   And he's loved, listened to, played with, taught about what's right and wrong and has imperfect parents that make mistakes but try, learn and keep going.

Sure he moves a lot.  Yes, he can scream and throw tantrums.  No, he hasn't figured out how to share quite yet and he will probably still scream (embarrassing) if you pass the plate of biscuits around and don't give them all to him (in group settings this isn't ideal:) )

But maybe it's more normal in England to have a feisty little guy than a little boy that does what I want him to do, when I want him to do it.  At the end of the day, he's his own little man.  But..

I'm truly relieved to see that my little men blend in here. 

• We're not stared at over here. 
• He can get on with things.  
• He's not being tugged at and touched by people as they walk by
• His skin color isn't a daily conversation point.  
• He can PLAY with other kids. 

Sticking out and always being different gets old.  But we get on with it.  I don't want those little things to be big issues.  We choose to accept them and not make a mountain over them.  If I'm having a hard day out there, I pick and choose where and when to go places.  Maybe we'll skip going to the market or the common area, etc.  You know what I mean, those days.  You probably have them too.  I can relate when things don't always go as expected.  But just get on with things.  Otherwise it's those little things that make us lose sight of where we're going.

At the moment, I'm just relishing the fact that we walk down the street without being stared at, he can play with his cousins, kids have fun here, fun is expected, and kids can be kids.

As always, thanks for reading:)  Love that you spent a minute here.  Have a great day and be blessed!