Dealing with directness

Some days, I laugh.  Some days I cry.  Usually I do try to take things with a pinch of salt. Because living in China is different.  People are different.  Traditions and thoughts are different.

Over here, people are direct.

I was talking to someone yesterday and she asked me how pregnant I am.  "I'm not pregnant."  She tried to rephrase her question and basically insisted that I am.  Yes, it got awkward.  I thought I'd just do the whole, "I've just had a baby.. what did you look like after you had yours."  She told me that her stomach was completely flat after 2 months and then asked "Why does your stomach look so big."  Gulp. Thanks.  I didn't think that it really "looked so big."  I realized, I was ready to end the helpful conversation.  I quickly said good-bye, walked on, readjusted my trousers and shirt and picked up my pace. 

I got on the bus on the way back from the supermarket.  And I saw two girls looking at me.  "No, NO", I thought.   "Please DON'T give me your seat." The irony being that while pregnant I wanted people to give up their seat for me.  Before I could run to the other end of the bus, one of the girls gave me her seat.  I almost started a really random conversation... "Hello, thank you for giving me your seat.  Just in case you were wondering, I'm not pregnant."

My defense..

• Our second little guy is 3.5 months old. 
• I fit back into many of my old trousers. 
• Can we just not discuss my middle all the time! 
• I dress differently than other people.
• I don't want to have a defense, stop analyzing my body. :)

Today our little man was running through the sprinklers.  I defended him (or perhaps my parenting) time and time again with people coming over telling me how bad the cold water is for him, how bad it is for him to get wet, etc. etc.  I told them I grew up running through sprinklers (with COLD water).  They weren't impressed.  And they didn't like how I was holding our baby.  Or that I didn't put socks on him.  Or a hat.  Or more clothes.  And that he's 3 months old and outside. 

Sometimes the best way to deal with directness is by diffusing it with humour, or just changing the focus or remembering that people's intentions are mostly to help, make friends, etc. 

I'm thankful for freedom to be different:)