Sometimes it's hard to understand why doctor's do things differently around here. I'm not a doctor so I can't quite give a medical opinion in many cases. But it's very complicated trying to "really understand" what was going on. We had a very difficult situation with a friend's family. I'll share it in a later post. But the approach was very different than one might experience in a different place.
My due-date is approaching! 4 weeks to go until we meet our little baby boy. My little man comes up with names for the baby every day. Names like "ook or pokie or kookie."
Since the idea of babies is on his mind he informs us daily that he's going to have "a lot of babies," and holds up about 10 fingers. He then tells me that they will all sleep in my room?! He doesn't quite understand that that won't be happening. My DH tried to tell him he was going to leave us one day and live with his own family. My little man's eyes immediately started to well up with tears and he insisted he would never do so. I was laughing while he was crying (couldn't help it, it was just so funny). He insists that he his brother will live with him still.
I've washed baby clothes and it all seems more real. We are going to have a baby. Soon.
My toddler is in denial and jealous.
My little man thinks it's great.
My little man also likes to tell me that if he eats all of his food, one day he will have a bottom as big as mine. Great.
On a different topic, I still find Chinese weddings and marriages very interesting. Over here I rarely see people marry for love. Of course the couple will like and approve of each other. And as they get to know each other, love and respect do grow. But often people here have arranged marriages or are "introduced" by someone to each other. There is a lot of pressure on woman to marry before they are 26. Parents worry about their child not finding someone and set up "introductions". Sometimes there's a match and the young people agree to it.
For many parents to really approve of a marriage, there are some conditions like:
- a dowry (a number set by the woman's parents. This is often used to fund the wedding or to buy new clothes, jewlery, wedding accessories for the bridee)
- whether or not the man has an apartment that he will give to the woman. It's then often the mother-in-law's job to furnish and prepare it for the couple.
- background of both people, appearances, etc.
We've seen young people "in love" and parents strongly disapprove because maybe they don't fulfill the parent's expectations. Some couples remain together. Others eventually end the relationship because of the incessant disapproval of the parents (and fear of disobeying them.)
We had a friend hide a relationship from her parents for 7 years. She finally told her parents (because his were pressuring them to get married after their long relationship) and we tried to tell her that she needed to tell them, introduce them, etc. Her parents rejected the couple once they met him for the first time (he wasn't able to provide an apartment, his job didn't satisfy them - he taught music and owned his own small music shop, and he was too skinny for them, etc.) Love didn't matter to them, they said. She broke it off with him a couple of weeks later. She is now in another relationship and because the man is willing to complete many of the requirements, they parents have agreed to it.
We went to a wedding on Sunday (camera broken, will fix it and then continue with photos) and it was interesting to hear how the couple came together and to see the ceremony. I arrived quite late with the boys (intentionally) and we enjoyed the toasts and the meal celebration. But as soon as people were done eating (we were all at a large restaurant) people just got up to go home. My DH had been in wedding celebrations since 7am so perhaps for some it was just time to "call it a day."
More thoughts on weddings and marriages next time. Time now for bed!
Thanks for reading and stopping by! Have a fantastic week!
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